im a fuckin stupid useless bitch.

at this moment

i am missin u

very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much now.

:(

i have experienced enough 

of the feeling of being ignored.

not only from you.

not how many times 

that you can count and imagine.
and now you want to take revenge on me with this.
i want to learn to ignore the ignorance
and pretend that i dont care.

i wish that no one could hurt me anymore 

with what i've been hurt alot.

love u !! +.^

happy birthday to me :)

i dun expect to have a celebration here

as all of my close ones are not around with me

i dun care about the celebration seriously

im appreciate the wishes if there are from sincere hearts

but if not, its just meaningless for u 

to waste ur time postin them on my wall lolx

and i'll be really happy if those that i care,

could ever remember this day..

tq so much baby~!!

your bday song really melts my heart 

and makes me miss u even more.

Nottingham

nothin much special. really haha. owh perhaps the name will do. i only remember we spent most of the time walkin on the road and in forest. but at least we had our very 1st typical english tea time with scones over here :)

people cant sleep well in a new bed 

bcuz they have adapted to their own bed.

i cant easily make new friends 

bcuz im already adapted to my old friends.

im already used to the way of how me and my friends treatin each other 

and the way we communicate to each other

so when im meetin new friends, i cant easily accept the way they talk, 

the way they think and the way they do.

i still have to thicken my face and approach them bcuz i hate to be alone.

but frankly i dun feel belonged at all even until now.

there are still alot of times i choose to stay alone in my room 

bcuz i dun feel like stayin with them.

i will keep silence for things i dun agree with them 

bcuz i know they wun understand or even bother to take my words in.

i can also expect them not to count me in if they are goin anywhere.

i truly realized this is my problem.

this is also why i cant enjoy to the fullest over here 

bcuz there is no one who is really close to me to be with me.

im missin 3 of them so much and wana tell them 

that i really treat them as my close friends 

and im sorry for always being emo for all the small matters.

i realized how important close friends are for me 

bcuz they will always be with u 

no matter who u are and what happen to u.

tq for missin me too :)

Oxford

Attraction in Oxford : Buildings again (but definitely much more nicer than Cambridge's), the blue sky, Harry Porter's library and dining hall but u have to pay to go in, the Oxford University sweaters and t-shirts. It's worth goin !!

the most contented dinner i've ever had.

self cooked rice with campbells chicken soup, fried egg, ham and sausage.

it may not look good,

but tasty enuff for me ~!!

yummy yummy +.^

finished presentation with the awesome 2nd group mates.

discovered a new place with nice view around the train station.

got a free isotonic drink which was supposed to sell for 69p.

went for lunch with the group mates and had a nice time over there although the food werent that nice.

straight go city centre shoppin and got baby, my ji mui's and myself somethin.

went back home and able to chat with baby for some time before he sleep.

dinner at outside again at noodle inn.

nice food, nice view, nice people around, nice time.

life's been good !!

but another assignment and presentation already awaitin me next week.

im so wana go through these !!

wish me luck :) 

it's only 1 year

we'll still have many more years to come !!

happy 1st anniversary baby heeee

lupp u mishh u

Blackpool

 

Attraction in Blackpool : Rides if u dare to try, Blackpool beach. Nothin else.

but after i saw my friends' photos posted in fb,

only i realized that i have left out 

so many nice views and special stuffs over there.

sigh.

i guess i wasnt so in the mood today.

no matter how suffer and exhausted i am
despite my heart is still aching now
i still love you.
i still willin to take the same step with you.
i still willin to follow ur guidance.
because i know how much you care
and i want you to know that i care too.


im sorry.

好不容易求到的结果

我应该开心才对

但是我的心还是很痛

而且越来越痛

我真的很饭贱

我没有了尊严

我好像不是我了

成为了只是为别人而活的傀儡

我到底怎么了

明明你可以对我那么绝情
为什么我做不到？
我不是狮子座吗？
我的骄傲呢？


我想我太爱你了
我把你看得比我自己还重要了


我傻我笨
但我是心甘情愿
我是不是饭贱

Whitby

 

 Attraction: Sea View, Fish and Chips, Grass Land.

Cambridge

 

 Attraction in Cambridge: Buildings, Colleges, Museums.

im a failure.

all this while.

.

UK land is definitely greener than Malaysia.

I can only see grass, trees along the highway and not buildings.

i'm amazed.